God is many things to us, but the one aspect of him that I often called to share is that of Comforter. The deepest yearning of my heart is to help others around me to learn Rest, to take comfort in the fact he is always there, as close as our own breath.
I've been at the bottom of a pit many times before, not really understanding fully how I got into it, and definitely not having a real plan re: how to get out. I've been at the place where I'm surrounded by people yet I'm lonely. Where outsiders would think I should be happy, but I'm not. Where I'm so exhausted emotionally and psychologically and I'm not even sure how I'll get through my day.
Have you ever felt as if you'd fallen into a pit with no way out? Help seems so far away as you sink deeper and deeper into yourself, your pain, your despair, your feelings of being completely overwhelmed, maybe even your depression? I've been there in times of grief, in times of overwhelming stress, in times of anger.
God feels far away at these times if we have embraced the idea that we must do ______ in order to reach God.
Many of us, regardless of our upbringing, have unwittingly embraced this formulaic concept of reaching God. We don't even realize we're doing it most of the time! We have somehow ingested the false notion that God needs us to do something substantial-- e.g. pray certain prayers or in a certain way, have "enough" faith, methodically confess our sins--in order to reach him. We don't have to reach him. He's a nanometer away!
Am I saying that praying certain prayers or in certain ways, having great faith, or confession of sins (either privately or as a Sacrament) aren't helpful? No! But I don't think they are necessary to reach God's gentle, comforting presence.
When we act as though we must do something to reach God, we are cheating ourselves out of our birthright! In fact, I will go so far as to say that we are being sinful. Who are we to think that we CAN do anything to reach God? I will go so far as to say something else: continuing to even think that we need to jump through hoops to be close to God moves us farther from him. To draw close to God, we need to come empty-handed, with humility, with nothing to give but ourselves. We may use prayers, confession, and worship to help us bear fruit -- but these things aren't required for us to just reach him. He's already here.
If I won the lottery and I could buy the right to people's hearts for just a few seconds (bear with my fantasy here for a moment!), I would want them to understand one thing: God loves us. Right now. Right here. Right where we are, what we are, who we are. He stands as close to us as our very own breath, and he waits for us.
